Facing Reality
by Maxine-san
Summary: Heero's life changes drastically when his wife dies suddenly in an accident. But that's not the worst of it. How can Heero face the fact that his 2 year old daughter...isn't actually his? Prologue and chapter 1 posted!
1. Prologue

Facing Reality - Prologue

_disclaimer_ - I don't own Gundam Wing or any of the characters!

_notes_- Big, huge warning right now before you get any further! Whenever I get around to finally continuing this fic, because I _do_ want to finish it eventually, you should know that it's very likely it will end up as a yaoi story. Mmkay? Just so you know. :)

* * *

The tension in the hospital waiting room was so thick it could be cut with a knife. The room's occupants sat in complete silence, still in shock over the news they had just received. Zechs was hunched over in his chair, eyes wide and unseeing as he stared at the floor. Beside him, Noin was gently rubbing his back, tears streaming down her own face. Eventually she gave up and choked on some sobs that ripped through her throat. Burying her face into her husband's shoulder, she openly cried.

Wufei and Trowa were leaning against the wall opposite her, both standing with their arms crossed and staring at the floor. When Noin's sobs broke the silence in the room, Wufei visibly flinched. Crying women always bothered him slightly.

Quatre, sitting on the other side of Noin, only joined Noin in her weeping, though he was much quieter about it. He bent over and propped his elbows up onto his knees, his hands digging back in his hair. He looked as helpless as he ever had.

The only other occupant in the room at the time was slowly wearing a hole in the floor as he continually paced back and forth. His face looked as if it was etched in stone, his eyes slightly brighter than usual due to the tears in them that he refused to let fall. Even Duo's braid seemed limp and lifeless.

The door to the waiting room suddenly slammed open, and everyone in the room stiffened, afraid of whom it would be. The relief in the room was obvious when Dorothy was the one who walked through the door.

"I came as soon as I heard what happened," she said quickly. She sounded as if she were out of breath, and her long, blonde hair whipped around her as she glanced about the room, noting the sullen faces. Stepping back slightly, she said quietly, "No...is...is she...?" Dorothy let the sentence trail off, not needing an answer when Noin's cries picked up again. Finding it hard to keep her own tears in, she muttered, "Damn..." Silently taking a seat by the wall where Trowa and Wufei were standing, she could only join the others in the others in their glare at the floor. Only a few minutes later, another door down the hall opened, and Sally walked out, looking just as depressed as everyone else, even though she was on duty.

"Is he here yet?" she asked, stepping into the room. Duo paused and glanced up at her briefly, before returning to his pacing.

"No, he's not back yet. We don't even know if he got the message," he spat out, hands uncrossing from behind his back and clenching into fists at his sides.

"It'll be all over the news," Trowa said gently.

"God, what an awful way to find out," Dorothy murmured, fiddling with the ends of her hair.

"How's...how's the little one doing?" Quatre spoke up. Sally looked unsure of herself as she spoke.

"She's alright...we think. She hasn't woken up yet." Quatre sighed raggedly.

"Sally, answer me truthfully," Zechs' deep voice rumbled. "If she had gotten here sooner, would you have been able to save her?"

"Well," Sally said, her voice wavering slightly, "we can't really say-"

"Sally, please," Zechs pleaded. She sighed.

"Yes Zechs, had we found her sooner, it is very likely that we could have saved her. By the time she'd been located, she had lost far too much blood."

"Damn it," Wufei said softly. Sally nodded.

"Tell me when Heero gets back, I have to go check on-" She was cut off abruptly as the entrance door to the room slammed open, nearly coming off the hinges, and Heero ran into the room frantically. His hair was a mess and his clothes looked horribly wrinkled, not to mention the bloodshot look in his eyes. He looked around the room quickly, ignoring the others as his eyes settled on Sally.

"Where is she?" he demanded. Sally stuttered for a second, before Heero cut her off again. "Where's Relena, Sally. I got on the first flight I could back. Where. Is. She?" He sounded frantic and nervous, only causing Sally's eyes to fill with tears.

"Heero, I'm so sorry-"

"NO! Damn it, tell me where the hell she is Sally! WHERE IS SHE!" He looked about ready to kill something, and knowing that he probably wouldn't hesitate to do so, Duo stepped up to him, prepared for any punches that would be thrown his way.

"Heero, they couldn't save her," he said, choking on the words. "She's gone." He gently placed a hand on Heero's shaking shoulder, trying to calm him down, but he was only rewarded with a quick elbow to the stomach.

"NO! She's NOT! I swear to God, she had better not be DEAD!" Trying not to wince, Duo grabbed Heero's shoulders and turned him quickly so that he was facing him.

"Listen to me Heero," he ground out, staring the Japanese man in the eyes. "She. Is. Gone. She was missing for almost two hours, and by the time someone reported the accident, it was too late to save her. Relena was driving on an old country road. No one else was around."

"Then how the hell did she crash?" Heero asked, almost pleaded to know. Duo shrugged.

"From what we could tell, it looked like she spun out of control in the rain and ran into a tree going around a curve," he replied softly.

"Fuck," Heero muttered. "FUCK! Damn it! How could this happen! WHY WAS SHE OUT ALONE!" He spun out of Duo's grasp quickly and stalked towards the door. As if remembering something, he turned back around and asked Sally quickly, "Where's Carrie?" Eyes widening more, he continued, "Tell me she's alright, please..." Sally smiled softly, but got that worried look she had earlier.

"Carrie's fine, Heero. She's, uh, well she hasn't woken up yet, but she's ok. Do you want to go see her? We, um, we need to...discuss...some things with you." Looking slightly confused at that, Heero nodded and followed Sally out of the room.

The others sat in silence again, before Zechs said brokenly, "Relena..."

& & & &

As soon as Heero entered the small, barren room his two-year old daughter was in, he rushed to the side of her bed.

"God, Carrie...honey, Daddy's he-" He cut himself off, remembering suddenly that she wouldn't be able to hear him, even if she WAS awake. His daughter was deaf, as he and Relena had only found out recently. He sighed, staring down at her small, pale form on the bed. His heart clenched, and he silently prayed to God that she would wake up and look at him with those blue eyes of her. 'Relena's eyes...' He mentally groaned. God, what would he do? She was his life. Raising a daughter on his own, how would he manage that? He lowered his head for a second before turning to look at Sally. "What did you want to tell me? Sally sighed, looking nervous again.

"You might want to sit down for this," she said without looking at him. She gestured to a chair, which Heero sat in, before she started to speak.

& & & &

It was a good thirty minutes later when Heero walked back out into the waiting room again. Everyone glanced up at him, questions on the tips of their tongues, but froze when they saw him. He looked like the walking dead, he was that pale. His eyes resembled Zechs', in that they were wide and unseeing. His hands were in fists at his sides. Trowa and Wufei pushed themselves off the wall, looking worried.

"Heero..." Wufei started, and then trailed off, unsure what to say.

"What happened Heero?" Quatre asked quickly. "What happened to your daughter?" Heero's eyes narrowed at that and he mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "she's not."

"What?" Duo said, being the only one in clear hearing rage. His eyes were wide. Heero's shaking fists picked up the closest thing to him, which happened to be a chair, and threw it violently at the wall.

"SHE'S NOT!" he shouted, sounding pained.

"Not what, Heero?" Trowa asked, stepping forward to restrain Heero if need be. Heero looked him with eyes full of hate, pain, and misery.

"She's not my daughter."

* * *

So other than having _the most_ cliché opening sentence ever... I'm actually still really fond of this fic and where it was going. Definitely one I'll have to finish eventually. :)

-Maxine


	2. Chapter 1

Facing Reality - Chapter 1

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The Peacecraft mansion was a far cry from its normally bright and cheery state in the months that followed Relena's funeral. Where she had usually had many guests coming to discuss issues in the ESUN and peace treaties and the like, the same people now came to offer Heero their condolences. It had been in the news for weeks. Most people simply found it too hard to believe that the once-Queen of the world could survive innumerable assassination attempts, and yet die in something as normal as a car accident. She'd been looked at as a pillar of strength by many, and learning she was as real and human as the person sitting next to them had brought a shock that would not leave for a long while. For a while there were rumors that another war would be starting now.

But nothing happened. Relena had left behind her a foundation strong enough that it would hold for years to come. And after a few months, the rumors died, the threats stopped, and people moved on. Another political figure had died; it was no longer a very big deal.

For most people anyway.

For Heero, his life had officially ended with hers, and hadn't yet begun again. He would walk around almost in a dazed state; that same hard, cold look in his eyes that hadn't been there since the end of the Eve Wars.

He hadn't been near his daughter since the funeral.

Sorry, not HIS daughter.

He hadn't been near RELENA'S daughter since the funeral.

Apparently, when Sally had been running tests to figure out what type of blood was needed for transfusions, she'd noticed that Carrie's didn't match, in any way, with Heero's. And while it would be easy enough to run some more DNA type tests to figure out who exactly her real father was, Heero wasn't sure he could deal with that knowledge.

It was hard enough knowing he'd been betrayed. Though a quiet part of him still had a flame of hope burning, it was more than easy to squelch it. The most he would allow himself to believe was that she had been drunk and hadn't known what she was doing.

Heero's quiet manner had been somewhat acceptable at first, but as the long weeks turned into months, and the months threatened to turn into a year, his friends decided it was enough. Not to mention Carrie's nanny, who'd been getting more and more anxious about how to deal with the three-year old. The toddler had taken up the habit of crying, screaming, and pointing at things to try and get what she wanted, and the frazzled woman had no idea what to do since she couldn't communicate with the girl. It was frustrating both of them to the point that Carrie never smile anymore and her watcher had more grey hairs than she would have liked.

It was this issue of communication that Quatre was trying to discuss with Heero one morning that he had come to visit. He and the others actually lived in the Sanq Kingdom and worked at the main Preventors Headquarters, but they were rarely able to talk to Heero there. Mainly because he usually avoided them.

"Heero, I'm serious," Quatre was saying, as they walked down one of the wide halls of Heero's shared home with Zechs' family. They were heading toward the nursery. "We all feel terrible about what happened, and I can't even imagine what you're going through, but you HAVE to wake up from this daze you're in and pay attention to your daughter!"

"Relena's daughter," Heero mumbled halfheartedly, as he always did whenever someone referred to Carrie as HIS. Quatre gave an exasperated sigh and gave a slight tug on the small hand of his own young daughter as she toddled after them down the halls. Her mother had dressed her in a cute, almost TOO cute, pink ensemble that consisted of a frilly little dress, a lighter pair of stockings, small white shoes, and a matching pink hat that sat on top of her curly blonde pigtails.

"YOUR daughter, Heero. Birth father or not, you've raised her thus far, with maybe the exception of the past few months, and she knows YOU as her father. Look Carrie needs you right now. You're not the only one who lost Relena." Quatre gave up tugging his daughter along and bent quickly to sweep her up and place her on his hip. "Carrie lost her mother, too, and with you ignoring her as you are, she's also lost her father! Heero, she's scared and confused. She hardly knows what's going on around her because she can't hear anything. Carrie probably feels completely alone!"

"She's got a nanny, and besides, she's only two, she doesn't know anything about feeling 'alone'," Heero bit out, turning a corner sharply and continuing down the hall.

"She's three, Heero," was the low reply. It caused Heero to falter in his step and he came to a slow stop.

"Three?" he questioned incredulously, eyeing Quatre out of the corner of his eye.

"Her birthday was last month. Zechs gave her a party." The blonde paused, shifting hold on his daughter. "YOU weren't there." Heero almost flinched at the accusing tone, before he started walking again. They hadn't gone but a few feet before Heero stopped in front of an open door. Peering inside, he caught sight of his daughter's nanny sitting in a rocking chair. The woman's eyes narrowed slightly, and she nodded at him.

"Mr. Yuy," she said coolly. Heero nodded right back.

"Martha," he returned. Lowering his eyes, he noticed his own daughter sitting on the floor, staring up at the people in the doorway curiously. Flinching for real this time, Heero quickly pulled back, leaning on the wall beside the door. She was nearly a carbon copy of Relena...

Beside him, Quatre set his daughter on the floor. "Kara, honey, why don't you go play with Carrie for a bit while daddy talks to Uncle Heero, ok?"

"Ok daddy," Kara replied enthusiastically, nodding her head eagerly and nearly bouncing off to meet the other girl as soon as Quatre set her on the ground. He gazed after her fondly before turning to the solemn-looking man next to him.

"As long as you're hear, you don't mind if I take a quick trip to the kitchen, do you Mr. Yuy? I'm quite parched." Heero gave Martha a slight nod, listening to the excited babble of Quatre's daughter before watching Martha slide past the two men and head to the kitchen.

"She seems nice," Quatre commented lightly, moving to stand in front of Heero. Heero shrugged.

"I guess."

"Heero, look," Quatre said, letting out another exasperated sigh. "I think you should enroll Carrie in a school for the hearing-impaired."

"She shouldn't be in pre-school until next year," Heero responded, sending the blonde man a blank look.

"Yes, but Heero, Carrie can't go to the same school that say, Kara will go to. What good would it do, she can't understand what they're saying!" Quatre exclaimed, gesturing aimlessly with his hands. "She won't have any idea what's going on. She needs to go to a school where she can learn sign language, and where they'll teach her in ways she can understand. They have basic classes that adults take too, so they can communicate with their children."

"I DON'T want to take sign language classes," Heero ground out, glaring through his bangs. Quatre's jaw dropped slightly before he tried to speak again.

"Bu...but...Heero! You have to, how else will you talk with your daughter!"

"Relena's daughter, Quatre. She is RELENA'S DAUGHTER!" The end of his sentence came out louder than Heero had intended, his voice catching on Relena's name. Taking a deep breath, shuddering breath, he quickly ran his hands through his hair, gripping it tightly. "Fuck," he breathed out, swallowing and releasing his hold so that his unruly bangs flipped back into his face. "Sorry," he muttered, leaning his head back so it clunked against the wall.

"It's...it's ok," Quatre said softly. He paused for a moment before continuing. "How about if I teach her?"

"Teach her what?" Heero eyes snapped open as he asked, bringing his head forward again.

"Sign language."

"YOU know sign language?"

"One of my sister's is deaf," Quatre explained.

"Oh."

"Actually, I could probably get her to come down and help me," the blonde continued, looking thoughtful. "That would probably help. Just a couple of hours a day. We could teach everyone else, too, all the kids I mean," he finished. "What do you think?" Heero shrugged.

"Whatever." Quatre took that to mean that he thought it was a good idea, and he smiled. "I don't know if I'll be there though." Well, that rather burst his bubble...

"Heero, you HAVE to be able to have some sort of conversation with her." Heero stared at him.

"No. I don't," he said simply. Quatre lifted his hands to say something, but was interrupted by a tugging on his pants.

"Daddy?" Kara was saying, peering up at him through her curly bangs. Her hat seemed to be missing.

"What is it, honey?" Quatre asked a little edgily, still keeping eye contact with Heero.

"I don't like that girl in there."

"That's nice, hon-what?" He quickly turned his gaze down to his daughter as the sentence registered in his brain.

"I don't like her," Kara said stubbornly, crossing her arms and glaring back into the room. Quatre chanced a glance back at Heero, noticing how his eyes seemed a little harder and how his grip on his upper arms had tightened.

"Well, honey, why not?" Quatre asked, genuinely confused. Kara turned to look back up at him.

"She won't talk to me!" the little girl exclaimed, lowering her arms and balling up her tiny fists. "All she does is sit there and stare at me!" Her aquamarine eyes were slowly filling up with tears. Quatre lowered himself to the floor carefully, kneeling in front of the upset girl. "And she took my hat and she won't give it back! Every time I try to take it, she screams at me!" Kara sniffed and rubbed a hand across her eyes. "I tried to talk to her, I tried to take back my hat, but she just started crying and I didn't know what to do and I don't like her and I want my hat back!" The girl started crying at that, throwing herself into her dad's arms. Quatre sighed, rubbing his daughter's back.

"Kara...Kara, honey, listen to me," he said gently, pulling her away from his embrace to look her in the face. "Honey, Carrie can't hear you." Kara sniffed, and scrunched up her eyes in confusion.

"What do you mean, daddy?"

"Carrie can't hear anything, baby. She's deaf." Quatre sighed again as a look of dawning comprehension crossed his three-year-old's face. "She didn't know you were trying to talk to her, and she probably didn't understand that you wanted your hat back."

"She can't hear...anything?" Kara asked in a small voice.

"I'm afraid not."

"Then...then how can I tell her I'm sorry?" Quatre's heart nearly broke, and he paused for a second. He glanced quickly at Heero, finding that the other man had changed his arms from simply being crossed across his chest to a position that looking like he was hugging himself. His eyes were closed and there was a look a pure anguish on his shadowed face. Quatre swallowed. "Daddy?" Kara questioned, sniffing again.

"Well," Quatre said slowly. "You can go back in there, smile at her, let her hold your hat for starters." He paused again. "Try to show her some blocks or something, let her know you want to play with her, ok?" Kara nodded happily.

"Alright, daddy!" Quatre smiled sadly and looked past his daughter into the nursery. His smile fell when he saw the other girl pressed up against the wall, face buried into her knees. Her small form shuddered occasionally, but her sobs came quietly. In one of her hands she clenched a small, pink hat.

"Go now," Quatre urged, giving his daughter a slight push. "Tell her you're sorry."

'Tell her we're all sorry.'

& & & &

"I don't know, are you sure that's a good idea?" Wufei asked sipping from his coffee as he sat in one of the chairs in Quatre's office.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Trowa questioned from the other chair. Wufei shrugged.

"I just don't think Quatre has enough time to teach her, that's all."

"My sister will be helping. She'll make all the plans," Quatre spoke up.

"I think it's a great idea," Duo said from his position on Quatre's desk. "You said you'd teach the other kids too, right? And us, if we want to?"

"Of course," Quatre nodded. "I wasn't sure about teaching all the kids at first, but guys, you should have seen Kara and Carrie together. She was so happy to finally have someone to play with, but I could tell they were both frustrated that they couldn't understand each other."

"When you say 'kids,' you DO realize that limits this conversation to just you and Duo, right?" Trowa said lightly. Quatre chuckled.

"Well it's not our fault you and Wufei aren't married yet, right Quat?" Duo said, laughing. "One of ya'll should just pop the question already."

"That requires having a girlfriend to 'pop the question' to," Trowa reminded him, smiling slightly. Duo rolled his eyes.

"Ok, so Wufei should just pop the question."

"And be wrapped around Sally's finger for the rest of my life? No thanks," the Chinese man ground out.

"But Wufei, you're already wrapped around her finger, remember?"

"Quatre!"

"Nice one, Quat," Duo laughed, slapping said blonde on the back.

"Thank you, Duo."

"Alright, enough already," Trowa spoke up again, leaning forward. "So what does Heero think about all this?" Quatre sighed.

"He doesn't think he'll participate."

"Oh geez," Duo groaned.

"I don't understand him," Wufei said, a little angrily.

"He has reason to be angry, Wufei," Trowa said softly.

"Yeah, but he needs to think about people other than himself."

"Carrie?"

"Yes."

"I doubt that's the reason he doesn't want to go," Duo said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Quatre asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Duo glanced around the room, but he was only rewarded with blank stares. Duo sighed. "Haven't you noticed that Heero NEVER talks to any of us anymore?"

"He never talks to anyone anymore," Wufei said agitatedly, crossing his arms.

"No, no," Duo said, hopping lightly to the floor. "He's occasionally seen with Zechs."

"He lives with the man, Duo," said Wufei, rolling his eyes.

"He talks to Hilde and Noin too," Duo continued to point out.

"Duo, what are you getting at?" Wufei finally asked.

"Don't you get it?" More blank stares. "He probably thinks one of us is Carrie's 'REAL' dad," Duo said, using his fingers as quotation marks.

"No way," Trowa said, sitting up straight. "Why would he think that? Why would you SAY that?"

Duo sighed. "What other guys did Relena EVER talk to on a personal level? Who else has she ever stayed out later than usual with? I know for a fact she never stayed around those politicians for more than dinner and dessert."

"So you're saying," Quatre started, "that Heero suspects that one of us may be Carrie's father?"

"It's possible," Duo shrugged. "But I doubt he wants to ruin anyone else's life. He's like that, you know. Probably doesn't want to break any of our friendships off, which he WOULD. Probably with a gun..."

"That's ridiculous!" Quatre exclaimed. "None of us would EVER!"

"Are you suuuure, Quatre?" Duo asked, peering at Quatre shrewdly and raising an eyebrow. "Kid's got a lot of blonde in her."

"Duo! I'm married!" Quatre cried in absolute shock.

"Quatre, babe, I'm kidding," Duo said, straightening up and smiling a little, spreading his hands in a gesture of peace. "But you see what could be going through his head? I'm married too, ya know, and I would NEVER do that to Hilde, trust me." Duo leaned towards Quatre and mock-whispered to him, "Those two, though, they're both free, and therefore prime suspects." He pointed at Wufei and Trowa, both sitting with now wide eyes.

"Please," Wufei bit out, "That girl has NO Asian in her whatsoever." Duo shrugged.

"Ok, so Trowa's the prime suspect." Trowa sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Duo, really, don't you think it's a little inappropriate to be talking about this? Especially with Relena...not among us anymore."

"Oh, don't get me wrong. I loved Relena like a sister and I miss her as much as anyone else, but I'm still kinda bitter about her because of this whole thing," Duo said, crossing his arms. "Anyway, I made my point. I think that's why Heero's avoiding us. He doesn't want to unconsciously strangle one of us to force the truth out."

"But...none of us IS the father, right?" Quatre said, swallowing. "I mean, there's no truth that could be forced out, correct?"

The four of them glanced uneasily at one another, knowing that none of them could POSSIBLY be the so-called "culprit," but at the time...wondering...

"Wasn't me," they all muttered simultaneously, before quickly exiting the room and heading towards their own offices.

* * *

Yep, that's all I've got for this one so far. Hopefully new updates will come...somewhat soon, eh-heh.

-Maxine


End file.
